of (not so royal) weddings

In light of the Royal Wedding tomorrow (confession: I have not followed any of the hype, and I only even remember that it is tomorrow because it is my dear British friend’s birthday, too) I thought I would honor marriage, weddings and my dear husband. (Bear with me as I brag on him. Or don’t. Check back tomorrow).

Too often, I spend my energy, both inward and outward, on my little ones — thinking about their current challenges, enjoying their engaging triumphs — and my husband, who USED to take up a lot of this brain space, comes at the end.  Today, I want to set that on end.

For all my creative impulses, my spastic moods, my stubborn streak, my over-use of big words, my husband has a tried and true patience and stability that makes him so right (and at times so wrong! er, I mean challenging) for me.  When I talk way too much, he listens diligently.  While I have been spending this year remembering to breathe, he has often been my breath for me.

This month we will celebrate nine years of married life together (we were mere babies when we got married).  We have some amazing history together, and often when things get tangled up and tough, it is our story that reminds me that we’ve been through junk before.  And we love each other more today.

Marriage is hard.  To try to make two people, two lives, combine to make one is full of challenges.  It’s hard anyway, and then you add kids to the picture.  Sheesh.  Like when we are both uber-tired and the house is a disaster and there is no dinner to be found and the kids are both crying so loud that I can’t even hear my own thoughts let alone try to hear the thoughts of the grown up across the table from me and he’s worked a super long day with craziness at work and I thought you fed the dog.  Sometimes it can seem like there is not enough to go around.  Sometimes it can seem that it is easier to just snap, or add him to the list of annoyances or inconveniences.  Can you believe that I do that?  Well, I do.  And then I’m humbled, hit in the head with my own brokenness.  He is on my team!  He is on my side, at my side.  When I decided to marry him, I had no idea what kind of father he would be (though clearly I had a sense of his character).  He is so many of the things that I am not.  He has patience in areas where I have little.  He brings energy to times when I am lacking.  There is no other man on the planet that I would chose to raise my children with.

He is athletic, and spirited.  He can be quite a jokester (though he knows better than to play one on me).  He is determined and hard-working.  He has an integrity that I have seen little of elsewhere.  He is kind, boy is he ever kind.  He knows Love and because he does he can give it freely, unconditionally, no strings attached.  And he does, graciously, as he serves our family and those in his life.

Though we are no marriage experts, one thing my husband and I agree on:  we have to put our marriage before our kids.  Strange to say, even harder to do.  But the best thing that we can do for our kids is to have a strong, committed, firmly rooted in the Lord marriage.  We continue to grow and learn from one another, and my prayer is that we can be an example to my little ones — I want them to see our love and humility, our service to the Lord in each other.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

OK, awkward bragging finished. Thanks for bearing with me.  Also, if you’re looking for more marriage inspiration Rachel Held Evans wrote a great post a few weeks back.

Do you have anyone you want to brag on?  What’s your story?  

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2 thoughts on “of (not so royal) weddings

  1. I think the concept of your marriage before your kids is so very important… and you’re right… so very hard. Much of our world is child-centered these days and it can be hard, not to mention unpopular, to focus on the foundational relationship behind it all!

    Happy Anniversary and blessings to you!

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